Hello 2018!

Have i improved much last year?
I still lose my cool sometimes. I scold my kids, quip my husband in both jokingly and serious ways.
I get older. I dont sweat small stuff so much anymore. I dont please everyone. This last few months I spend more time hanging out with my friends–that refreshes my stressful mommy life– I dunno if this will make me look like a bad mom, but honestly i dont care. People will talk anyway wether I do good or bad.

I dont get credits for things I did well, but I get critics for things I didnt do.
Take a deep breath, keep calm.

So what have I learned?

1. Dont judge a person from one sided story. I am involved in many many gossip talks. Both as gossiper and gossipee. Haha. Ok i feel bad. So I want to change that. Every story has 2 sides and you have to be very careful before you pass a story. Only spread good and positive stories and do not talk bad about someone else, ever again.

2. 家家有本难念的经. Life is not perfect. Nobody’s perfect. So be grateful and accept what you have. No need to envy other people’s life. Find tranquility in your daily life.

***

My motto in life is seize the moments and try every chances to be happy. Human being is never be satisfied. This will either motivates you to keep improving or if this goes too far then it will lead to greediness. So be wise of what you want.

Sooo.. In this 2018 I hope I can fulfil my new goals which are,
Learn new skills.
More freedom to travel.
Stay fit and workout regularly.
Be a wiser mom for my kids.
Pray more. Seriously!

⚘ lets be a better person this new year!

random midnight thoughts about being happy in life

I know. comparing is unhealthy. it is a sign that I am not confident.
so tonight I pray, to get the wisdom, to learn that,
I should be more grateful of what I have and not compare my self to other people. Therefore I should focus more on my priorities in life, which is my happiness, and the well being of my kids.

well.. ngga ada yang akan peduliin kebahagiaan hidupku selain diriku sendiri, at least not as much. it is not selfish for me, as I have been sacrificing my adult life mostly to make other people happy. So it is important to reward my self sometimes.

simple rule in marriage: happy wife happy life.
I often remind my spouse of this rule–yet here I am still complaining haha!

12.00AM now. I should sleep. tomorrow yoga morning class must fix my mood now.
empty my mind without losing my soul. and fill it with positive vibes before I start my day.

what’s up!

It’s been more than a year since my last post. I wasn’t really sure if I’m gonna keep writing here or not but I was reminded to always express my self, and now I’m doing it the old way– blog!

This past 3 years, my life is not fully mine anymore. I dedicate the best quality of my self being a mother of my two kids. now when I think about it.. (Im not counting my merit, really!) there are so many things I have sacrificed for the sake of motherhood. Everything I do, I prioritise my kids. Kids safety, well being, and life skills. Gotta make sure they are always well fed, play and learn enough, comfy sleep, proper growth, healthy neighbourhood etc etc etc etc…

Sometimes it’s crazy how I try to maintain roles in my life between having to be a good wife, a perfect mother, a lovely person, and a respected employer. I have learned a lot and I still hope to achieve more in life..

Oh.. and I do yoga now. Not like the extreme yogi who bends here and there–im not that flexible.. not yet lol. But from yoga I learn that there’s always something to learn, to improve my self. Our body is amazing–what we can do. We are still far from perfect and there’s always people beyond you. so be humble. and grateful.

Problems.. they are always there. It’s life.
But time is limited. our life is limited. Try to enjoy it and live life to the fullest. Don’t hurt other people. don’t keep grudge and hatred.
Be lovely and kind. be healthy and have good appetite hehe..

(maybe) I will post updates on my kids.
My firstborn son is almost 3 years old and he mixes my emotions everyday for being so lovely yet naughty boy.
My second born daughter is 1 year old now and she’s taking her first steps recently. She is so hard to be fed her meal but she loves snacking and snatch other people’s food haha..

Good night.
XOXO

baby updates: 14 months

I’m 2 months late to post about my son 1st birthday.
It was humbly celebrated with closest family and friends. We love the gifts we got hehe..

Oh boy how mama wish you always the best, for you to grow big and strong, healthy humble handsome and smart!

Anyway this past few months I’ve been stressed out with Ken new diagnosed allergies. Apparently he is allergic to dust and dirt. Also I still cant give him many food variants as he might allergic to eggs, chicken, and seafood. (can only have beef and pork and veggies for now). I don’t dare to give much spices too, only salt and soy sauce. But slowly I hope his immune grows and his body can accept more food varieties.

And lately I was bugged with some people who questions why he is not walking yet. =____=! All babies are different laa.. But it got me concerned.. how smart/advance/late is my baby compared to other babies? Unfortunately I dont have many friends with similar age babies in my neighborhood, so I decided to give him a baby class trial. Starting next week, I hope I get clues and ideas of how I can improve my motherhood skill to teach my baby some new skill and stuff.

So… 14 months now.
Start to to walk, still holding his hands thou.. but he still prefers to crawl.. only walk when I ask him to.
He points his finger to stuff/places he knows. Like the clock, my room, the wind-chimes, the fishpond, the people he knows.. he even poke me when i ask “where’s mama”.. hehe..
Getting even harder for nappy changing n bath time.. he wont sit down quietly always trying to run!
Formula milk is 180cc now.. 4-5x a day.
He speaks some words very well.. mama.. nai nai.. dedek.. and she is quite talkative. talking random stuff only he and the fridge know. lol.
He understands some orders too.. to clap hands, to look up, to put things back to its place, to turn the aircon/lamps on and off, to give up stuff he is holding.. etc
many many progress 🙂 I am happy..

Ok i got some good news in the next post.. wait for it!

How do you build a strong relationship if we barely have time for quality talk?

How would you know your family needs n wants.. if you barely spare your time on me?

How could you expect all the sweets and cuddles after I being neglected?

What do you care?

Mangkel!

Aku sering geregetan dan pengeeeen rasanya misuhi orang yang..
kalo ngomong suka ga dipikir dulu yang bener.
Atau orang yang sekarepe dewe karena merasa paling berhak atau berkuasa.
Atau orang yang bisanya cuma nyuruh nyuruh tanpa ada instruksi yang jelas.. tapi kalo salah diomelin.
Atau orang yang suka cari cari kekurangan dan kesalahan orang lain padahal yang dia anggap bener itu belum tentu paling bener.

Pengen njambak!! Ggrrrr…

Senyuman Pahit

Aku menyayangkan
Ketika sering kali keluhanku tak tergubris
Seakan yang kuucap tidaklah penting
Dan apa yang kurasa tak layak untuk dipikir kembali
Semua hanya terlewat dalam kalimat hampa, tanpa reaksi, tanpa solusi..

Kau harap semuanya kan perlahan sirna.. dan senyum kembali merekah
Tapi tahukah kamu,
Senyumku,
Sering kupaksa..
Tuk tunjukkan pada dunia bahwa
Aku baik baik saja.

Dan apa yang kukesalkan itu bukannya hilang
Ia hanya tertimbun dalam tumpukan senyum fana
Namun ia menekanku perlahan,
Pelan pelan memualkan..

Diam bukanlah emas, sayang..
Diam itu bom waktu.
Ketahuilah itu.

when in need…

My maid fainted today. She took a pill with Sprite. Has period, no meal taken. What a dumb. She has problems with her boyfriend and did stupid things to her body.
Lucky the other maids took care of her. Feed her, gave her warm tea, massage her and pamper her until she get better.

But what if no one was around when she fainted? She could die alone!
Or what if the other maids were incapable of doing her favors to rescue her? She could get worse..

Why do things that troubling other people.. sigh..
I, dont like to be dependent, or sometimes I feel hard to ask for favors. I’d rather doing stuff my self as I can, or if other person offers help, then I’d accept.

if I see someone in need, I will quickly offer my self to help before they ask. So I guess if a person really wants to help, they would do the same.

Thats why I (almost) never deliberately do stuff that will trouble other people, like get drunk, for example. I’m always aware of my self.

Maybe this post make me sound a bit cocky, I apologize in advance.

Foolish

Close your eyes
Close your ears
For things you dont want to see
And things you dont like to hear

Be that foolish
And hope for things
To magically change
And suit to your liking..

They call me kan cheong..

I am the type of person that prefer things to be well prepared and organized as early as possible.
I can’t sleep well knowing I have task I haven’t done, when I could have done it by now.
You know early birds get the worms, and it’s one less thing to worry when you finish a task, so I dont like to do things last minute.

Unfortunately I live with people that prefer otherwise.
I tried many times to change that, but it just didn’t work.

Last minute dealers don’t get much options, don’t get the best price deals. Maybe they can be calm about it when they have money to solve all problems, but for me it’s just stupid.. when you could get the same thing without paying extra.

I was trying to save them some money, they didn’t appreciate. yawes karepmu.